fifteen

I've struggled whether to document this point in our lives.  The challenging moments as a parent.  The difficult times as a child growing up.  But I want to share these struggles to hopefully look back and breath deeply knowing that we made the right decisions.  That we helped you find your way without too much pushing.

Nathaniel - you started summer hockey 3 weeks ago.  There is no denying the fact that you have a passion for hockey and an amazing natural ability to play the game.  Signing you up for summer hockey skills seemed like an obvious step to prepare you for winter hockey.  This is your first experience playing hockey in a structured environment.  You were so excited to begin.  You tried on your equipment MANY times before walking out on to the ice with your skates.  It is difficult to know what you were expecting.  You have a hard time sharing your thoughts with us.  You spent most of the hour sitting and watching.  There were some tears.

By the second practice you spent the majority of the time sitting on the ice but participated at the end of the hour.  For your third practice we all came along to watch you.  You love the beginning of practice when you can skate around, taking shots on net.  You're not shy to go for the puck when another player is also looking for a puck to play with.

Soon the skills portion of the practice begins.  It's at this point that you have come off the ice in the past 2 sessions.  Today you stuck with it for one round of skating.

As you waited for the other players to skate to your end of the ice, you started looking towards us on the bench.  We knew you were struggling.  Then you made your way towards us.

You often complain about your feet being sore in your skates.  Daddy tried fixing your skates and then you chose to sit on the ice and watch.  I really struggle watching you like this.  We try to encourage you, your coaches skate by and try to engage you in an activity.  But you continue to sit and watch.  We aren't pushing you but it is so difficult knowing how much you love this sport and how you are lacking the motivation to push through the uncomfortable skates and make mistakes out on the ice.  My hope is that you continue to love hockey and soon find the spark to try and challenge yourself.  Your natural drive and focus for a 6 year old amazes me and I hope that you use these gifts to fulfill your passions and find happiness.