my mom

I was going through old pictures this afternoon (when I should have been doing something a bit more productive) and came across this picture of me as a newborn. I am very glad that I did not listen to the one side of my brain tugging me to work on one of my projects. It is amazing how pictures can have such a different meaning at different stages of life. Years ago I would have looked at this picture and focused on me. How bundled and peaceful I looked. Now I focus on my mother. While holding back tears, I see a mother with a newborn and 2 1/2 year old. I was probably only 4 days old here and I know how tired my mom would have been. I'm also guessing that she might have still been in the hospital. She might be thinking that she wished she could stay longer - having meals made for her and no toddler at her ankles. She might also be thinking that she just wants to go home to the comfort of her own bed and her own routines. I forget that my mother lived my life 30+ years ago. 3 kids, a stay at home mom and a busy husband at work. So much the same. Thank you mom for all your sacrifices so many years ago. I am thankful for this picture and the reminder of how complex a person you are. Especially at a time when you can be minimized to a person with cancer, I see you as so much more. I hope that I can be there for you now as you begin another long journey of chemotherapy treatments. Thank you for your endless love as my mother.